• Courtney Dianne

A Bourgeois World

Like so many of you, I feel thrown out of kilter by COVID-19, the mutated coronavirus-cum-global pandemic. And while I'm perturbed by the apocalyptic run on food, household, and cleaning supplies at all my favorite stores from Wegmans to Target, not to mention having my trip to London to visit my boyfriend cancelled, I'm compelled to look for a silver lining in all of this.

Until President Trump declared a national emergency and state and local governments followed suit with their own measures, including the temporary closure of schools and non-essential retail businesses in my area, I felt like I was falling behind in a bourgeois world that seemingly prized above all else busyness, material success (or the impression thereof), and the accomplishment of traditional milestones, from side hustles to jet-setting to workplace promotions to engagements/marriage/babies to new homes, none of which are inherently wrong or bad. I just couldn't keep up, and creating an even minimal illusion of doing so was leaving me exhausted, discombobulated, rudderless, and short-tempered.

That is, I couldn't make it out of my apartment door to go to work without abandoning my apartment to disarray, and God help me if I decided to make breakfast that consisted of more than a bowl of cereal or to save money by packing my lunch for the day. To make matters worse, I found myself verbally chastising my dog for the heresy of wanting to play tug-of-war after I just took her for a walk and put out her meal and fresh water for the day. And as my boyfriend can attest, until recently, there were certain things he just couldn't joke or share with me in our frenzied phone calls after my work day ended, made such by the five-hour (now four-hour) time difference between us, without triggering a nuclear whiplash of emotions.

And while the goal is to stop comparing myself to others, in the meantime, now that the world is taking a collective, albeit forced, step back from the rat race, I can stop, take a deep breath, catch up on binge-watching some good Scandinavian dramas, and develop the clarity and courage to course-correct for the even greater, more authentic journeys that lie within and ahead.

Photo Credit: Beryl O.


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